Random musings of Chie Cerrafon
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I get hurt...
Okay, let's get this out of the way... I'm not conservative. I'm one of the few (or many, I have no idea) that does not believe that sex is reserved for marriage. I think that basing something as grand as marriage on virginity is stupid. I don't care if my future husband had his fair share of relationships (with or without sex). As long as he doesn't care that I had.But this kind of thinking makes people see us as heartless sons of bitches. Like we could go parading around unhurt after sex. I am never one for one night stands or friends with benefits kind of situation. There are people who can walk away unharmed after these types of arrangements. I'm not one of them. I am as emotional and a hopeless romantic as any girl. And it's worse because sex is involved. To others, sex is just sex. To me, sex doesn't always stay within the physical realm. It goes beyond. And I've been hurt and disappointed a couple of times because I cannot, for the life of me, separate sex and emotions/feelings. This makes me wonder if I'm the right kind of girl to have a liberal way of thinking about sex. If putting out only gives me heartbreak and sadness... then maybe, the only solution is to finally stop and wait for that one person who will make a difference. Why am I saying all these? Because I again became a fool thinking that there's a relationship ticket behind our intimacies. I am getting pathetic. I am feeling sorry for myself. So maybe, this is my wake-up call to finally stop letting guys get the best of me. |
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