Ineffable.

Random musings of Chie Cerrafon

The Sunday Currently

posted on Sunday, 22 February 2015 @ 05:07

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Say hello to my home workstation. So messy. But as long as I know where stuff is, it's okay.

//Side note: finished reading This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz last week, fun read. Took me one boring day at work to finish it.

READING

"All the Bright Places" by Jennifer Niven. It's taking me a while to finish this book not because it's bad (it's really good!) but I'm scared it'll make me cry.

WRITING

this and some write ups for my second work. And talking to someone cool.

LISTENING

to my Smooth R&B Spotify Playist.

THINKING

of whether to buy that Lush Vanishing Cream moisturizer or just opting for a drugstore one.

SMELLING

alcohol. I've been trying to get in the habit of constantly sanitizing my hands because at work, I usually put my hands on my face and I think that's the cause of my recent breakouts

WISHING

for a good book. It's been a while since I rated a book 5 stars in Goodreads

HOPING

for closure.

WEARING

an olive green tank top and green shorts.

LOVING

my big ass Samsung monitor. Thank you boss!!

WANTING

Chinese food. Dumplings, sweet and sour pork, yang chow. ugh.

NEEDING

creative juices. It doesn't hurt to have a surplus of creative juices.

FEELING

hungry. I need to do some groceries soon.

CLICKING

between moisturizer blog reviews. I need helP!!!

Post Credits: http://siddathornton.blogspot.com/

I get hurt...

posted on Sunday, 8 February 2015 @ 06:06

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Okay, let's get this out of the way... I'm not conservative. I'm one of the few (or many, I have no idea) that does not believe that sex is reserved for marriage. I think that basing something as grand as marriage on virginity is stupid. I don't care if my future husband had his fair share of relationships (with or without sex). As long as he doesn't care that I had.

But this kind of thinking makes people see us as heartless sons of bitches. Like we could go parading around unhurt after sex.

I am never one for one night stands or friends with benefits kind of situation. There are people who can walk away unharmed after these types of arrangements. I'm not one of them.

I am as emotional and a hopeless romantic as any girl. And it's worse because sex is involved. To others, sex is just sex. To me, sex doesn't always stay within the physical realm. It goes beyond. And I've been hurt and disappointed a couple of times because I cannot, for the life of me, separate sex and emotions/feelings.

This makes me wonder if I'm the right kind of girl to have a liberal way of thinking about sex. If putting out only gives me heartbreak and sadness... then maybe, the only solution is to finally stop and wait for that one person who will make a difference.

Why am I saying all these? Because I again became a fool thinking that there's a relationship ticket behind our intimacies. I am getting pathetic. I am feeling sorry for myself. So maybe, this is my wake-up call to finally stop letting guys get the best of me.